THE INTELLECT OF MR FINKELSTEIN
F R I D A Y, 1 0 M A R C H
Anya is fated - why is she always away when something fantastic happens?
It was in English. The question of all men being free and equal arose. Mrs Higgitt started to talk about the black/white question and how really tense the situation is out in America. Then she spoke about James Baldwin, the famous Negro writer. When white people say to the blacks, "ok, let's make it up, you blacks are just as good as us" he won't accept it. He believes the blacks are better than the whites. He despises whites: a terribly embittered attitude. Mrs H says it's too embittered really - where does it get you? "But," she said, "that's only my view. There are lots of people who think he's first class: Mr Finkelstein was a great admirer..." Well, I put my head down, went bright red, and got a burning pain inside me. Everybody laughed, Mrs H grinned, and I went "oh no" to myself. I couldn't believe it. "Poor Anya," grinned Lucy. Oh, it was wonderful. I couldn't concentrate for the rest of the lesson, and when we had to continue our notes my writing was shaky.
It's ridiculous. It's mad that he still has this effect on me. Then, after the lesson, Tig told me that as Mrs H said his name she was looking at me!!! Tig never exaggerates. Mrs H knows.
Saw a very very interesting programme in the evening: Malcolm Muggeridge interviewing Leonard Woolf (Virginia Woolf's husband).
(a) He's an intellectual.
(b) He's Jewish - but he's a disbeliever. It's encouraging to hear you don't have to believe in God from someone who's very intelligent and who has not only thought wisely and deeply about the subject, but has also thought about it for a long time.
(c) He went to Cambridge, and most of his friends went there too. Also, he got married when he was thirty-two. I've got a feeling Finklestein won't marry till he's at least 28.
One thing I'm worried about. I want so much to be intellectual like him and to be able to think about everything in such an interesting way but honestly I don't think I've got the brains. Will I be able to go to university?
I've decided I wouldn't be too young to marry Mr Finkelstein. If he got married at 31 I'd be 23.